China Travels - Day 1 to 3: Shanghai to Beijing

Hey everyone, hope you're enjoying preparing for Christmas and whatnot. The trip is going great so far... I'll just quickly fill you in on it.

For those who don't know right now I'm travelling with Courtenay and Felix. I go to school with Courtenay and I met Felix on a crab trip at Yang Cheng Lake (dad met him too). Felix has been a travel agent for quite awhile and knows absolutely everything there is to know about China. Basically, he rules and gets us out of all the tough scrapes.

December 13 - Flew out of Shanghai to Beijing, which only took 2.5 hours. Thanks to Felix (I'll be saying that alot) we got the tickets for the same price as the train tickets, only 490 yuan. We found our hostel (see pic) and got right out there trucking around the city. We explored Hou Hai Lake, which is just crawling with pubs. We also got to see some ice fishermen catch a fish in the lake by only using a flashlight, hooks, and quick reflexes. The hooks actually grab the side of the fish and then the fisherman has to launch the fish out of the water. Also went to Beihai Park.

Yeah, I don't know how to rotate pics on these hostel comps.

December 14 - Went to the Forbidden City. Got there late so we got to see the sun go down. It turned a deep shade of red and looked absolutely incredible. After this we were lucky enough to see the traditional daily flag ceremony and then explore Tiananmen Square. Also saw the Forbidden City from Jingshan Park.

View of the Forbidden City from JingShan Park.

Red Sunset in Forbidden City.

December 15 - Went to the Summer Palace.

December 16 - Went to the Great Wall at Simatai. Unbelievable.

Shanghai View of Canadian Healthcare?

Me and my roommate Rian recently delivered an oral presentation concerning the state of Canada's current health care system. We decided to take to the streets of Shanghai to find out how the Chinese feel about this hard-hitting, completely relevant issue. (Rian interviewing, I'm the camera lackey).

Shanghai Daily

The past few days have been wild, sorry I haven't updated... I'm waiting for some pictures but there's a couple that will tide you over.

November 27 - Tried one of those weird sweet potatoes I always see those guys selling on the street. Pretty good.

- Had a fascinating class about how to innovate to take advantage of the Chinese market

November 26 - Ate 8 pieces of street BBQ in one sitting. Poor lamb (or cat).

November 25 - Fetish show, Part II. More of the same. Still weird. The Reverend put a string of firecrackers in his boxers and lit them off.

November 24 - Indoor skiing! I have come to the conclusion that Chinese people ski the same way that they drive: with no regard for human life, including their own.

November 23 - Oh. my. God. So, at that Canadian convention thingamajig we met a guy that arranges weird stuff in Shanghai. He invited us to an "invite-only" S&M Fetish party which is apparently quite illegal in Shanghai. Tons of people were wearing crazy clothes and this one guy was being dragged around on a leash. The main act (this is apart from the dancing transvestite, and schoolgirl act) was the Reverend B. Dangerous. Definitely the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. He took a drill and drilled a hole in his face, then hammered a nail into the hole, and THEN decided to put a screwdriver in there for good measure. Other stunts included: Stapling a shirt to his body, tongue and forehead, piercing his skin with needles, lying on a bed of glass and getting Colleen and Courtenay to stand on him, putting his face into the same bed of glass and having the fattest guy stand on his head, lifting a suitcase and flinging it around with first his tongue, then his nipples (which have been ripped off and superglued three times) and a whole bunch of other disturbing stuff. Unbelievable.

Reverend B. Dangerous at his best.

November 22 - Uhhhhhh.... This day is forever blotted from my memory.

November 21 - Dog in a raincoat

- Rian is now officially the person that remembers strange things that happen each day

November 20 - Heard the Chinese version of "Hey Jude" blasting upon stepping out the front door.

- Saw an entire family (one boy, one mom, one dad) on a scooter

- One of the French people's computers interrupted class by proclaiming "Previously on Lost"

- Green tea flavoured condoms. Need I say more?

- Had dinner with the Dean of UVic Business who was passing through. Free food rules.

- Proof that Rian and I have been roommates too long. You had to be there, it's not actually funny written down anyway. "So whatcha got in there?"

November 19 - Attended the 9th Annual Shanghai Terry Fox Run. Amazingly, Gordon Campbell of all people was on hand for the opening ceremony. It was quite the event with a massive dragon boat, musicians, dancers, and some killer warm-up exercises. Sometimes the conflicts between our culture and the Chinese culture really get me down over here, but this event restored my faith completely. More than 10,000 Chinese people showed up to run 8 km for a cure. (Well, a bunch of people cheated, but their hearts were in the right place). Everyone was really helpful, and I was officially granted my Chinese name:

(ke te)
I humbly bow down to Colleen's mad running abilities.

November 18 - THE FRIDGE IS FIXED!!!!!!!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Saw one of the most horribly burned people I have ever seen in the People's Square subway. Poor guy's entire head has virtually melted away.

- Saw some other crazy stuff that I can't remember because I waited too long to update. D'oh.

November 17 - Went to the doctor. When the intern asked me for my symptoms I said that I felt "tightness" across my chest. Her eyes widened and she repeated the word a few times and then bolted out the door. The doctor came in and asked me a few questions then said "How come you told the intern that you were bit by a dog?" "Huh?" "She said you had tetanus". Ba dum bum chhh. If this story wasn't true it would be an absolutely horrible joke.

- Went to a goodbye party for Daniel Blaschka, one of the Germans. Good guy, too bad he's leaving.

November 16 - Had a two-hour long massage. Oh man, I needed that.

- I'm tempted to stop recording the accidents that I see, since they are almost commonplace now. Unfortunately, this one was quite grisly. The whole situation was amazingly surreal and I almost felt like I was in a movie. It was night time, with the rain pouring down, and a crowd of people wearing multicoloured parkas were kneeling in front of a prone figure. The whole scene was dimly lit by the surrounding street lights. The victim showed no signs of movement, and I really hope he's ok.

November 15 - Had my purchases rung up on an abacus. Awesome.

- Saw a "Hello Kitty" gear shift protector. ... . I'm not kidding. Ladies, if you're angry at your spouse/boyfriend/ex, I can't think of a gift that a man could possibly want less.

- Tried out some famous rice noodles. Ate so slowly that we ended up sharing our table with 3 different sets of people.

- Began learning Chinese while in a restaurant overlooking the Shanghai Museum and the Shanghai Urban Exhibition Center

November 14 - Saw a cat fast asleep on a pile of counterfeit DVDs. Ok, I realize this isn't all that strange and that I'm really reaching here, but I took most of the day off so don't bother me.

November 13 - Saw the aftermath of an accident. Collision between a scooter and car further sullies my theory that Chinese people are invulnerable.

- Saw a 20-something year-old casually taking a piss against the side of a building on a major sidewalk... and now I know why nobody is EVER barefoot. Ever.

November 12 - Went skating on the 8th floor of a mall. Saw at least 1,800 falls.

- Ate snails

- My cell phone has been teddy bearified

November 11 - Remembrance Day! (Or in China, they celebrate the almost-as-valuable Singles Day)

- Saw fireworks from my window

- Found out about http://mp3.baidu.com, perhaps the greatest and most illegal free mp3 site ever.

November 10 - Fish in the metro

- Had Korean BBQ all you can eat, 68 yuan (less than $10!). Amazing views and crazy nice restaurant, how can it be so cheap?

November 9 - Was called a "fu**er" in broken english by some hooligans less than a minute after I walked out my front door

- Saw the aftermath of an accident. Poor guy was lying facedown in the middle of the street with his legs at a strange angle. A cop was standing over the victim, directing traffic away from him. No blood fortunately, he'll be fine.

- Found out that if I ever have a day where nothing strange happens, I should just make my way down to good old Zhongshan Park. While there, I saw:

• A middle aged man making beautiful temporary calligraphy on the walkway. He had a 7-Up bottle in each hand, and both of them had a paintbrush tip at the mouth of the bottle. This allowed him to make the symbols with the pop. Cool!
• One person, yes, only one person using the bumper cars. That must have been absolutely thrilling.
• A huge outdoor ballroom dancing party, kind of like the one in downtown Van by the art gallery, but with better dancers

- Saw the slowest moving fire truck in the history of the world. Even with sirens blaring, no one, including a cop car, made any effort to get out of the way. Some people even jaywalked in front of it. Unbelievable.

I wish my camera worked so I could add some pictures :(

November 8 - Saw a chick in her 20s thoroughly digging for nose gold on the subway. This was not a slight pick or itch, this was full on nasal domination. Meticulous examination of the findings ensued.

- Upon stepping off the subway, noticed a male also intent on getting rid of those pesky boogers

- Ate a slice of "fruit pizza" which had cheese, cherries, mango, and pineapple. Scrumptious!

- The French kids were held after class and lectured by an American professor for being disrespectful to the teacher, zut alors!

November 7 - Was invited to and attended the Canada China Business Council's Mixer, received free pizza, beer and met Sergio Marchi, some guy who is supposed to be pretty important (formerly Canada's International Trade Minister and Canada's Ambassador to the WTO)

- The mixer moved to a fringe concert where this amazing actress put on a one-woman show of I, Claudia. Pretty cool and disturbing at the same time.

November 6 - Ate a sandwich at 431 km/h on the MagLev

- Surprise! Our class now has 25 new, ridiculously arrogant Frenchies!

November 5 - Ate hairy crabs in a restaurant in the middle of Yang Cheng Lake with padre

November 4 - Saw an albino monk begging for money on the subway.

- Was informed by UVic that I can replace an entire class by simply writing a book report by December 15th... score (unfortunately I can't write it on the latest Jane Austen novel. I have a choice between: The World Is Flat: A Brief History Of The Twenty-first Century by Thomas L. Friedman or Failed States by Noam Chomsky. Suggestions?)

November 3 - Saw an albino Chinese woman on Nanjing Road

- Helped physically pull a guy out of the subway who was trapped behind a bunch of people. That was fun.

November 2 - Hongdeqiao road was blocked off by a bunch of people wearing red and white clothes. There were huge speakers playing Chinese music and a large red carpet where a bunch of older women were dancing in what can only be described as a disorganized mess.

- Saw two blind people in 5 minutes

- Saw a pedestrian get knocked over by a bike. Shouting in Chinese ensued.

- 11:30 PM. I had to add this one. A giant cockroach just walked over my bare foot in the bathroom. I'm all jumpy right now.

November 1 - Went to a wild concert for the 2008 Beijing Olympics featuring all of your favourite Chinese pop stars. It was pretty amazing, so many people had glow sticks and moved them in time with the music. Saw an older man there plugging his ears while the only rock band played. I have never seen anyone hear (<--- get it? pun!! wow, that's lame) plug their ears, not even from the squealing brakes, continuously honking horns or screeching subway sirens. It just goes to show that rock 'n roll affects that generation the same way all over the world.

October 31 - Saw a Chinese midget.

October 30 - Saw two huge rats lying in the middle of the sidewalk trying to pull themselves forward with their front legs. Clearly poisoned. Gross.

The following dates are correct, and I'm sure I saw strange things on the days that are not included, but I just can't remember them.

October 28 - Halloween Party in a bomb shelter.

October 24 - On my way to meet Dad at the airport, I was briefly resting my eyes on the subway. My sixth sense must have triggered since I opened my eyes just in time to avoid the strange liquid that was rapidly approaching my feet. I noticed that one of my fellow passengers was not as lucky and ended up soaking his business shoes in urine from a four year-old kid that decided that now would be a good time to relieve himself.

Lack of Updates

Alrighty, I realize I haven't updated in forever, but now that I have yet another 2 weeks off of school I'll be adding stuff again!

Hangzhou Hijinks

A few weeks ago us UVic kids headed out to Hangzhou (pronounced HongJo), home of the West Lake (Xi Hu). Apparently, people have been living in that area for 4700 years, and first officially became a county 2200 years ago! Now you know more.

The city was waaay bigger and more modern than I thought it would be, but once you get to the lake itself you feel transported back in time. At least I did. Maybe it's just because I smashed my head against a piece of wood twice that morning, but that's another story.



The train ride over was uneventful aside from this weird rice ball with pork center wrapped in bamboo leaves that I ate. Not bad. We arrived at night, saw the super romantic lake and ate tons of local food for about a dollar each. We crashed at a really nice hostel next to some famous restaurant where we eventually had breakfast.

The next morning we met up with Kelly from UVic and Debi, a UVic alum. Shameless plug: If you haven't noticed yet, links to their blogs are included on the right hand side of my page. We wandered all day, explored the Lei Feng Pagoda and saw the Mausoleum of General Yue Fei. Alright, I'm going to let the pictures to the rest of the talking. It should be noted that Rian's girlfriend Linda organized everything and to her we remain eternally grateful. It was only $30 for the entire trip.




The group outside the Lei Feng Pagoda.



From left to right: Courtenay, Morgan Freeman, Rian, Linda, Kelly, and Debi.







The Three Amigos (West Lake in background, no Three Stooges comments please)








Lion-riding, a traditional Hangzhouvian pastime, outside General Yue Fei's mausoleum. You may be asking yourself, could he possibly pull his socks up any higher? The answer is, of course, no.

Camera Quandary

I love my camera, it has seen me through the best of times and the worst of times. It survived the trip to Europe and the trenches of Montreal. Unfortunately, the memory card, along with all 40 of my China pictures, finally breathed its last breath. While I experienced a wide range of emotions when this occurred - primarily anger - I have come to terms with it. Good night sweet prince.

(It's actually not that bad, I just have to get another card, plus my buddies over here took a bunch of pics that I can get from them)

The Creature

So, at hot pot the other day we thought it would be a brilliant idea to try out some of China's strangest foods. This resulted in the monstrosity which you see above, which is presently nameless. I was thinking about calling it a clurd for no particular reason, it just sounds right. Any suggestions are certainly welcome.

The creature in question is made up of:

1) A sheep's brain

2) Chicken wings

and 3) A chicken foot at the top of the head. I'm not sure what this is for, but it is likely the creature's only form of self-defence.

In case you were wondering, brains kind of melt in your mouth like a stick of butter would. Not that I've ever tried anything disgusting like that...

Things to Avoid in Shanghai

Since lists are so much fun I am also going to make one about things to avoid in Shanghai. In no particular order, here are the winners:

• Sheep's Brains - Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.
  
• Tap Water - Tastes like metal mixed with bacteria. I shouldn't know that.
  
• Unwashed Street Peaches - Do not eat unless you enjoy spending most of your day in the bathroom.
  
• Massage Parlors with a Red Light in the Window - Depending on who you are, this could actually be on your "Things to Do in Shanghai" list.
  
• Chicken Feet - Ok, you should probably try them once, but never again. Try not to get the nails stuck in between your teeth.
  
• Fishbone snacks - Ground up bone in a bag. Not tasty. Need I say more?
  
• Public toilets - For the love of all that is good and holy DO NOT even consider entering one of these fine establishments.

There are a ton more things to add, and of course I will continue to do so!

Movie Time

Ok, I have tons of other stuff to talk about but it will take me forever to actually type it all up. So instead I am going to post a list of movies that I've bought since I got here. Keep in mind that movies here cost a little less than a buck, so I'm hoping to create the strangest movie collection of all time. So far, this is what I have:

• Frankenfish - 8/10 - Perhaps the greatest movie ever made about a genetically modified fish that goes around biting people's heads off
  
• Drive Snakes People - 5/10 - Probably the worst movie I have ever seen, although it recovers a few points from the immortal line "You are not authorized to woo me!"
  
• Hellbound - ?/10 - Starring Chuck Norris. It has to be good.
  
• Bleeders - ?/10 - In-bred cave dwellers? I think so!

And there you have it. Make sure you check this list out frequently, as I plan on adding one new movie per week!

Shanghai Adventure

After a hasty night of packing, dad took me out to the airport on August 31st with plenty of time to catch my flight. I hopped on and spent the next 12 hours alternating between listening to my iPod, talking to a Chinese Australian and watching one of the 5 movies they played (Ice Age II, Take the Lead, Failure to Launch... why for the love of God can they not play anything good?)

So I finally arrived in Shanghai at about 3:00 PM on September 1st, I lost a whole day. The Chinese Australian named Richard helped me through all the customs and stuff and by 4:00 I was wandering past hundreds of waiting, expectant faces when I spotted my name on one of the signs people were holding. Dad had put me in touch with a local Shanghainese named Minnie and it was a major relief to see her standing there with my fate in her hands. There's no way I would have made it through the day without her help. This is what transpired from the airport, and I still can't believe this worked out:

I called my roommate Rian from Minnie's cell phone, and it turns out that this was his last day of work so he was being taken out by the people at work. In order for me to access our apartment, Minnie and I were required to 1) Take Bus No. 3 into the city where we 2) Hopped on the subway after waiting in line to buy a card. Then, 3) we tried to catch a taxi during busy hour which is impossible so we ended up catching a makeshift one driven by some kid that wasn't officially marked as a taxi. So we ended up near where Rian works where 4) we had to meet up with his coworkers who had the only key to our place. We ended up waiting for them at a corner store, and they ended up waiting for us at a corner store of the same name about 2 blocks away. ANYWAY, we finally met up with them and then again had to 5) try and get a taxi which by some ridiculous stroke of luck, we were able to do. Then Minnie had to explain to the driver where I lived using a makeshift map and the chinese characters of our address which we had also received from Rian's coworkers. I live on a side street named "Lane 457", and believe me, most taxi drivers have no idea where that is. Finally we arrived at the place and she 6) had to convince the doorman to unlock the gate and let us in to the apartment building since I didn't have a swipe card yet. We finally arrived and collapsed into some chairs. Keep in mind that during this entire time I had my backpack and two bags with me. My traps took days to recover.

Now, this may not sound like quite the ordeal but when everything's in Chinese, you've just spent 12 hours on a plane, and you have absolutely no idea what's going on it gets to be a little strange. Now imagine me trying to do that without the help of a local. eep.

I will be uploading pictures soon and don't hesitate to leave comments by clicking on the link!